Bah! I’ve done it again and I’ve not posted anything for a few weeks, despite having something to write about!
On my last post thing’s weren’t going well and I had missed my first day at the charity shop. I really had to go in on Friday or it was possible that I would be thinking to myself "I’ve failed this too" and then that could have set things back again for me.
This time though I was prepared and amazingly I went out like a light on Thursday night. Friday morning I felt fresh and ready and despite this being my first day and having missed the actual first day my anxiety was quite low! I can’t explain that, maybe it was having actually stepped into the charity shop before that helped. All I can say is that my determination to get there overpowered my anxieties much like the time I went in before. I knew that in the beginning I would go through health and safety issues with the manager. That did happen for about forty-five minutes but then I was straight into the work, steaming clothes. Now for those who don’t know what this involves, it’s basically taking a device that looks like a vacuum cleaner with steam coming out of the hose and then using it like an iron on a piece of hanged clothing. Very simple really and obviously nothing too taxing, but passes the time and it’s preferable to me doing nothing. Next was sorting the large amount of donated clothes into those that go out into the store and those that go to rag. Now, as some might expect the selection criteria is quite strict, no marks and it must be good as new. However, even if it does go to rag they still get it collected and still get paid. So if you ever feel like donating old clothes, send them down no matter what as it’s still of use to the shops, well for the charity I help out it does anyway.
The second day was what I was initially worried about as I thought that I’d feel worn out or I’d lose the enthusiasm or that something would happen to spoil things for me. Again though, there was not a problem and I went in on Tuesday ready to go and not much anxiety in the way. So without detailing every second of the work I’ve done so far, basically I did back of the shop work like the clothes stuff, sorting other items like bric-a-brac, product price labelling and even taking stuff out to the front to display. On the social side I felt that things were going well, using the practice I’d gained going to meets and other situations to help me get by on small talk. Yes, I still think I think a little too much about what I say and when a conversation is going I still go blank when I feel I could say something. I’m not finding it too much of a problem though and I seem to be getting by in the shop without getting the feeling that someone doesn’t like me. Also, the people I work with are decent people who I get on with, so that helps a lot.
Which brings me to what happened Friday before last (the day before the Sheffield Meet), I asked the assistant manager something that I’d never thought I’d ask. I was actually feeling quite good about things and during a lull period of there being nothing to do, I asked about getting trained on the till. I suppose that there was a certain high at this point, something that has made me make certain spur of the moment decisions before. I hadn’t made any mistakes like one of my fears made me think I would and generally things felt good. Another reason might be that I thought on some occasions "hold on, if someone sees me in the back and I can’t go to the till and have to call someone trained to do so, that wastes time and maybe I could go instead so I’d be helping more". This was something I found out was given in good time after volunteering for so long. However, I was told it would be good to have a volunteer who was till trained to make things easier. I felt happy that at least she didn’t say "well, I don’t think you’re suited for it" or something along those lines. I went home and into the pre Sheffield Meet dinner rather happy and even remarked to Steve that I felt different that day, much better than I had in years. On Tuesday, I was told that after some steaming, I’d be trained for the till! Now was the crunch time as I would test how well I’d practiced my "act". It seemed to go well, I made the (expected) mistakes of a first timer while supervised but generally did a good first job on that day. In fact I was asked if I did retail before and when I said "No", there was some surprise as I was apparently good with the customers!
Now, I’m not going to get too excited about this. This particular achievement was part of something I had been working to. That of being able to cope with making friendly contact with a stranger which would only involve the kind of contact between a customer and a shop assistant. I’d practiced on the customer end and observed what most shop assistants did on their end. That’s the "act" of which I refer to, similar to that of what the serious character actors do, but without the critical acclaim or awards associated with it. No, no, I’m not saying I’m Phillip Seymour Hoffman or any other kind of actor before anyone thinks that. Neither is it an act in that I’m trying to be someone else, merely be a more confident interpretation of myself. Although if we were to get really deep then you could argue I am trying to be someone else. My head now hurts so maybe we should move on.
I have since had quite some practice on the till and even been left unsupervised. At the time of writing I’m waiting to find out how much damage I may have done on the tills. To add to the confusion of things, some items in the shop are bar coded while others are not and it’s that point which worries me as I think I may have not scanned stuff that I should have. I will probably find out soon whether I’ll be doing the rounds in the back again or worse!
OK, maybe I’m being a tad over-dramatic there but I get the feeling that something’s going to be brought up about some mistakes I’ve made on the Saturday afternoon that I went in. I just hope that it’s not enough to ruin things for me as I’ve been enjoying my time at the charity shop so far and would hate for something to go wrong and ruin the relationships I’ve made there.
I don’t want to end on a low note so I’ll add that due to my feelings on Friday night, the Sheffield Meet went rather well for me! Nothing much to add really, it was the same as before but with more mingling. I also found out I’m good at Street Fighter 2 if the opponents are inebriated in some way and I’ve been off the alcohol for several hours.